"IF ONE MORE PERSON IMPERSONATES A CHEERLEADER"

If I hear one more person impersonate a cheerleader

I might just have to kick them in the throat with a jump I learned in practice

Because I'm sick of hearing the malice meaning behind the word as it's rolled off the tongue

By those who see me in this uniform and sparkly bow thinking they'll inevitable be shunned

I am not that one

I want you to come over and meet me

But this is made impossible because you are now intimidated by the stereotype Hollywood decided to show you all on TV

I miss wearing my uniform without the side eyes and misinterpretations

Because what these people don't realize is when I put on this uniform

I am at a job that has taken years of preparation and self preservation

My vocal cords are ripped to shreds because of my 5 out of 7 day week dedication

If I hear one more person imitate a cheerleader

I might just have to use the High - V that's taken years to perfect

And knock someone in the jaw making them fly away as if someone "accidentally" pushed the button labeled eject

I'm done taking the crap

The stereotypical high pitched voices

Because if I actually tried that in practice

Let it be known that my coach would be makin' some choices

I'm done with the pretty girl stereotyped dummy

Because what's funny is the last time I checked my average had to be A's and B's to even stay in the sport

Which is a lifestyle that can give a person doubts

From sleepless nights with a head filled with Algebra 1 and 8 counts

Mouthing words that I refuse to again mispronounce

I speak for the cheerleaders who know this inner frustration

Of not having the latest song running through their head

No no no

But the words of the most recent cheer the team has learned that she continuously recites in bed

I speak for the cheerleader who stretches each and every muscle each and every night

Just so that she's not yelled at for not doing her jumps right

For the cheerleader who walks with a limp because she may have landed wrong at practice last night

Or maybe because she stretched a little too hard then her muscles got tight

I speak for the cheerleader who watches the derogatory version of herself on TV

Thinking... Where'd they get this idea?

Last time I checked this isn't me

But she laughs because all her friends around find it funny

But mentally it's just tearing away at her cheerleading dignity

Is this really how people see me she asks?

I mean our athletic frustrations the same

But my attitude towards others is hers with a filter without the monster mask

I speak for the cheerleader who can spell more than just L-E-T-S-G-O

The one with aspirations and places to go

The one who tells others what she wants is to go professional

But people look at her questionable

Not realizing how the sport is official

To the people who DO realize that it isn't just an excuse for girls to wear shorts skirts and football players to fantasize

I thank you but your population really needs to maximize

If I hear one more person impersonate a cheerleader

We're going to get into an argument

But this time I might just consider hittin' a split to stop it right there and end it

-ifthenightcouldtalk